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|little birdies in the sky
drooping things from way up in the sky
Mr Farmer wiping eye
Vey thankful pigs cant fly
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|little johny was riding trycicle up a hill and one wheel poped off johny said god damit and the preacher said dont say god damit say god bless so johny put the wheel back on and went back up the hill and all three wheels came off and johny said god!!! the preacher said to say god bless and johny said god bless all three wheels poped back on and the preacher said god dam!!!
--1
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|Ok so there are a blonde a red head and a brunette and they are all stranded on a dessert island and the red head says im never getting out of here so she swims 1/2 way there and drowns and then the brunette thinks the red head got there so she swims 1/2 way there and drowns so the blonde goes and is almost at the shore and says im tired and swims back
--3
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|One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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|so this blonde goes to a store and says "can i get that tv" the manager say "no mam we don't sell to blondes". so the blonde goes back home and dies her hair red. then she goes to the store and askes for the t.v the manager say "no mam we dont sell to blondes". then she goes home again and dies her hair brown. she goes back and asks again for the t.v. the manager again says "no mam we don't sell to blondes". she goes home one last time and shaves her hair off. she returns to the store for the last time and says "can i buy that t.v." the manager say "no mam we don't sell to blondes". then the blonde says: "i've asked for the t.v as a blonde then i died it red, went home and died it brown, you still said no so i shaved all my hair off! why can't i have that t.v" well the manager says: " bacause we don't sell to blondes for one and for two that is a microwave mam!
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|The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General:
Everything Men Know About Women
End of Report
U.S. Attorney General's Office
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|THE LETTER
After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama
himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to
let him know he was still in the game.
Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of
coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.
Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his
aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at
the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps
Intelligence for help
Within a few seconds the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell
Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
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|there is this blonde and she just bought a new red car and she's driving down the road some guy cuts her off and he tells her to get out the car and she does he draws her a circle and says stand here and dont step out or else then he goes back to his car get a bat beats up her car and the blonde starts to laugh and he asks why are you laughin she said i steped out of the circle three times while you was not lookin
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|there is this blonde sitting at the bar. This guy walks up to her and he starts flirting with her. He askes where she's from.She says I'm from the south, and i'm sorry your not my type, your not my brother
--4
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|There was a labrador, a dalmation and a doberman. they were all in a doggy bar and a girl poodle walks in. she said to the 3 dogs "whichever one of you can say the best sentence with liver and cheese in wins a date" so the labrador says " i like cheese but i don't like liver" not good enough said the girl poodle. Then the Doberman said "I like liver but i don't like cheese" but it still wasn't good enough so the dalmtion said " liver alone cheese mine" he lost because it was the cheesiest joke she had ever heard. None of them got the date!
--3
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